Keep Calm and Ohm On

When I began this blog and life journey back in August, I had every intention of penning my reflections and perspectives on a regular basis.  Obviously, this did not happen.  But, it is a new year and I think this is the perfect time to jump back on this blogging bandwagon.  Life has taken some unexpected turns in the last 3-4 months, some good and some not so great...

A few months ago, I became very ill.  While I have been sick before, I'd never experienced anything like this. In the middle of the night, I found myself wondering if I was dying.  Fear overcame me, and I began to cry uncontrollably.  A thousand thoughts and questions were running through my mind, and I literally cried out and begged God to make me well.  After several minutes of talking out loud to God, I sat in silence...waiting and listening.  A strange sense of calm overcame me, and I could feel God's presence.  I could say it was though He was standing before me; however, I know that I was standing (or kneeling) before Him, at His arms length and He was embracing me, covering me, and giving me strength.  Whatever was plaguing me, I knew I would overcome.  After seeing my internist and a specialist, I underwent a few diagnostic tests as well as two minor procedures.  I now take medicine for a "messed up" GI tract, and I've adjusted to a restricted specialized diet.  This bump in the road made me realize that in reclaiming my life, I needed to not only extend my care, love and attention to my family, friends, and those around me, but also to myself.  I needed to find something for myself that brought me pure joy.  I found this on a yoga mat.

I've taken a few yoga classes here and there over the last 3 years, but my attendance was spotty and my commitment was lacking.  One Thursday night, I decided to challenge myself.  I bypassed my standby gentle yoga class and walked into hot yoga.  I was immediately intimidated as 30 minutes before the class began, several yogis were "warming up" with handstands, chin stands and various other crazy poses.  I started to second guess my decision; I could slip out the back door and ease my way across the studio into the gentle class and no one would be the wiser, right?  No, I would stay.  I would give it the old college try.  If I failed, I could at least say that I'd tried.  I'm so glad that I decided to stay.  While I endured 75 minutes of sweat and agony, I left feeling energized and inspired.

After this class, I decided to join the studio on an unlimited monthly class pass.  For about 3 months, I've attended various classes (restorative, gentle, hatha, and hot, and even a nidra workshop).  I know that I am gaining strength and physical health.  More importantly, this time on my mat gives me mental clarity and an overall sense of patience and gratitude.  This is truly a mind, body and spiritual practice that I have vowed to never give up.  Each moment I spend on my mat I gain strength and confidence, and I learn to love and value myself a bit more.  Yoga is a personal practice and there is no judgment as to your size, shape, age, flexibility, or ability.  It is about finding yourself in your practice right where you are.  Isn't that how life should be?  Shouldn't we know where we are, accept ourselves in each moment, and grow from that point with each breath we take?  While I set an intention at the beginning of each yoga session, my daily intention and mantra has become, "strong body, soft heart, and a vibrant mind".  This is what I'm striving for each day.  While I'm not saying everyone needs to take yoga to be happy (although if you ask me about yoga, I will try to persuade you to try it), I am saying that each of us needs to find something that that not only makes you happy ~ but, something that you are passionate about.  (Thank you again, Kirsten).  You may not find your passion right away and that's okay.  But until you do....keep calm and ohm on.

Namaste~