While attending a
training a few weeks ago, I was asked, “What is your passion?” Sadly, I
struggled to answer this seemingly simple question. At the time, I was a few short weeks from
finishing graduate school and my “passion”, or so I thought, was simply to
complete my degree. As a wife, a mom of
two teenage boys, and a full-time teacher, grad school was no easy task. While I was feeling proud of this
accomplishment, I sat wondering, “What have I lost or missed along the
way?” I began a conversation with those
around me and I heard myself speaking purely from my heart rather than trying
to formulate the right answer, or something academically profound. “My passion,” I said, “is to reclaim my
life…to center myself, to reconnect with God, my husband, my children, my
family, and my friends.” I immediately
followed this up with, “Is that right?
Is it okay for that to be my passion?”
The next obvious question (quietly to myself this time) was, “Why, as a
grown adult, do I feel the need to ask permission to live my life…it is MY life
after all!?!”
Over
the next several weeks, I had sporadic moments of questioning and reflection…
- What are my dreams?
- What do others see in me?
- What are my strengths and where do I fall
short (yes, I know the latter is a much longer list)?
- Am I at peace with who I am, even in the
quiet moments alone?
- What does it mean to be authentically me?
I have a myriad of other
questions and thoughts swirling in my mind, and I’m just figuring out how to
put the words onto paper in a cohesive manner.
I know writing is not my strong suit; however, I have decided to share
this journey with you in order to be transparent along the way. While this is a place of self-reflection and
personal growth, I believe some of my experiences may motivate, encourage,
inspire, or uplift another. I look
forward to giving and receiving nourishment in this process.
Perhaps this is a
mid-life crisis, but I’d like to consider this life inventory more as a
reawakening. I know life is a
journey. I’m at a place where I no
longer want or need to race to the finish line; it’s time enjoy every breath
and moment along the way.
XXOO~
Tracey
You are such an inspiration to so many, myself included. I am happy that you are starting this journey. I can tell you that I see you as a very compassionate and caring person. Maybe that is why you are feeling this way. I think you put others needs before your own. This is not a bad thing, but you also need to take care of yourself. I could be completely wrong...after all I have never met you! Kidding! Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteAlise, thank you so much. Your friendships means so much to me and your belief in me means even more. Cannot wait to meet you face-to-face in a few short weeks.
DeleteI have just a couple of comments here. First is that you are a beautiful vibrant young woman and a wonderful mother to my grandsons and a terrific wife for my son. TR you are only limited by your imagination as to what you can achieve in this life. Financial resources help but that is never a deterrent. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. Remember you are known by those you love not those who say they love you.
DeleteCharlie ~ Thank you so much. I knew you understood me. I'm finally at the point in life where I understand it's not about proving anything or trying to fit into some stereotypical mold. I'm blessed to have you as my father-in-law and looking forward to spending time with you soon. Love you.
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